There is nothing deep or emotional or soulful about what I am about to say. This has nothing to do with the little voices in my head, because frankly at the moment the little voices know better than to be talking and are trying very very hard to be very very quiet.
This post is superficial and shallow. An ode to the pain in my ears, the stinging of my eyes, the dryness of my tongue, the stiffness of my shoulders, the cramps in my calves and the disappearance of my feet.
Do I look ridiculous? I don't care, I'm not taking these sunglasses off.
The moisturizer is running dry, the Red Bull sits patiently and waits, this coffee tastes like crap.
The memories make me laugh, the laughing causes pain, the pain makes me wail.
The memories make me wail.
Sunlight makes me cringe but the warmth is oddly comforting. I think I'll ask the tea-boy for some more iced water please. Mmmm..Agua.....Ahhhhh. Another gulp, another deep breath, another glass of water please.
I glance out my window and see a police siren. The red and blue don't bother me much, but imagining that sound is a hot rod through the nape of my neck. I instantly deafen my ears to the sounds of my imagination, the cruel tricks of my mind.
Everything moves in slow motion.
Instead I'll occupy myself with some work. The scribbles don't make sense. I need food. An odd craving for chicken kickers and a bucket of Tabasco - Tabasco and olives and lemon juice...wait now I'm receding back to yesterday. Let's look at another menu. A tuna sandwich makes me smile - reminds me of simpler times. I think I'll order a tuna sandwich from Casper's. I place the order and instantly regret it - I want ice-cream.
Why?
The question persists. So I pick up my phone to call him and ask.
It's dialing....
I want to ask him why he does this to me.
It's ringing....
I want to ask him why he visits so often.
Another tone....
I want to tell him why he should visit more.
Another tone....
I need to explain why I visit him so much.
Another tone....
I hang up.
There will be no answers today - education is for the misinformed, discovery is for the misguided.
